Life can be good & pleasant & happy. It brings each of us its share of joy both small and great -- falling in love,graduating with honors or simply be a graduate, winning a promotion, learning a new skill, or being just a simple giver.
Yet, for all the good, & beautiful & joyous that life holds - & for all the efforts that we may put forth to look on the bright side--a certain vague sadness & indefinite fear constantly haunts us. Fear, because we are not safe. Fear for we may somewhat/somehow lose our most prized possessions or relationships. Sadness, because no matter how good life gets, we know we're dying...
Why does life have to be so short? We begin with high hopes, & bright dreams, with energy to drive. But all too soon & accelerating years cruelly assault/attack our body, our minds, & plans; stealing away much of what make life worth awhile. We've only just begun to live, it seems, when suddenly it is time to die.
Here where we live-the tears never stop, the hospitals are never empty, the jails are always crowded. The nations are never at peace. Here the daily news is of terrorism & bombing & scandal & divorce & starvation & child abuse & drug addiction & gang rape, & war & death. Here on earth our lives are filled with fear & pain & worry & heartbreak as we march our weary way to the grave.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Easing Back
How could anything good come from tearing a father away from his family & leaving them alone to provide for themselves?
Life, once filled with sunlight & promise, has been colored by loss to be all storm and shadow..and how can I cope up with a loss like that? Part of my history had suddenly disappeared. All I could do was to remember and be thankful for all the good traits he instilled in me--determination, a strong work ethic, and the will to excel. As I could honor him by taking care of my mother, as he had done for so many years..
Well, apparently, whatever strength I had drawn on the first few years after he passed away would surely be enough to carry me through now. Like a toddler who falls more than he stands, I'm falling myself upright in the aftermath of my pap's death.
During this period of time I think my personality started to really took shape and even though I had to be tough and strong, there was still a tenderhearted, very emotional, & sensitive heart that needed to express herself and in longing for her pap's presence from time to time...
First and foremost, I always wanted to be a good provider & a responsible daughter. Someone my mama knew she could depend on. And I think all of us share the same urge as a daughter/son.
Of course, we had no time to sit around thinking about our plight. Being in a situation like this, I felt like I was forced to grow up fast, and yes..it affects my social life.We were struggling so hard just to keep our heads above water...Money was tight, and everyone needs help now and again. I did my very best to keep up my end and luckily by God's grace and wisdom, I graduated with flying colors! A gift I wish I handed it personally to my father..
Standing in the truth that you really don't know how strong you are until your strength is truly tested. And as I face death with all its impact on my feelings and my way of life, the greatest part for sustaining me & bringing meaning to the apparently meaningless, is the ability to see life, not with the physical pre-occupations but in the light of New Testament revelation..
Life, once filled with sunlight & promise, has been colored by loss to be all storm and shadow..and how can I cope up with a loss like that? Part of my history had suddenly disappeared. All I could do was to remember and be thankful for all the good traits he instilled in me--determination, a strong work ethic, and the will to excel. As I could honor him by taking care of my mother, as he had done for so many years..
Well, apparently, whatever strength I had drawn on the first few years after he passed away would surely be enough to carry me through now. Like a toddler who falls more than he stands, I'm falling myself upright in the aftermath of my pap's death.
During this period of time I think my personality started to really took shape and even though I had to be tough and strong, there was still a tenderhearted, very emotional, & sensitive heart that needed to express herself and in longing for her pap's presence from time to time...
First and foremost, I always wanted to be a good provider & a responsible daughter. Someone my mama knew she could depend on. And I think all of us share the same urge as a daughter/son.
Of course, we had no time to sit around thinking about our plight. Being in a situation like this, I felt like I was forced to grow up fast, and yes..it affects my social life.We were struggling so hard just to keep our heads above water...Money was tight, and everyone needs help now and again. I did my very best to keep up my end and luckily by God's grace and wisdom, I graduated with flying colors! A gift I wish I handed it personally to my father..
Standing in the truth that you really don't know how strong you are until your strength is truly tested. And as I face death with all its impact on my feelings and my way of life, the greatest part for sustaining me & bringing meaning to the apparently meaningless, is the ability to see life, not with the physical pre-occupations but in the light of New Testament revelation..
Sunday, September 26, 2010
When Frustration Comes To Call
When we talk about frustrations, we generally mean those feelings brought about by shocking changes in our worldly circumstances.Loss of property..loss of job..disappointed expectations.
The hard lesson is that even though the events that led to our frustration just came out of nowhere, the solution will not. Its up to us to quit trying to figure out how this happened & turn our attention to what we can do about it. Frustration leaves us feeling out of control, prey to random forces. When frustration, we must learn to seek out the areas we can control & learn to accept that the ultimate controller of our circumstances is always watching out for us..
Dont hold too long to what's never mean, sometimes we need to set things free before it hurts us badly.
Never entertain ideas which you know will bring lots of regrets & arguments. If you don't like the ending, never dare to begin ..
The hard lesson is that even though the events that led to our frustration just came out of nowhere, the solution will not. Its up to us to quit trying to figure out how this happened & turn our attention to what we can do about it. Frustration leaves us feeling out of control, prey to random forces. When frustration, we must learn to seek out the areas we can control & learn to accept that the ultimate controller of our circumstances is always watching out for us..
Dont hold too long to what's never mean, sometimes we need to set things free before it hurts us badly.
Never entertain ideas which you know will bring lots of regrets & arguments. If you don't like the ending, never dare to begin ..
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Point of Grace
I AM NOT A RELIGIOUS PERSON.....I AM A SPIRITUAL PERSON.....
It was during this time that the sense of depression & anxiety, that gnawing feeling of not really knowing who I was, seemed to fade. I relax its grip on my spirit and mind. I really was doing something that felt so right. I wanted so much to live up to everybody's expectations and I guess I always will. But like I said, part of growing up and discovering God's will is realizing that His perfection is all you need. Do your best, and He'll take care of the rest.
*Like everybody else in life, however, surprises come whether or not they're part of your neat little agenda.
*No matter what they say "its much harder to prove your innocence that it is for someone else to presume your guilt"
That seemed like an eternity, I felt as if I was falling away from everything I had once known, watching my life disappearing down a dark & dangerous hole. It was a feeling that would stay with me for a long time. It was a feeling I would become very familiar w/ a deep sense of isolation that settled on my heart & mind & set me apart from the rest of the world.
I've heard people talk about having a spiritual experience that knocked their socks off, changed their lives, & set them on the straight and narrow. Sometimes its a vision, sometimes a voice, sometimes just a sudden realization that they've come to a crossroads where there's a life-changing choice to be made--and NO turning back.
I get a real thinking whenever I hear those stories. There's a verse in the Bible that talks about the angels in heaven rejoicing everytime-one Soul is saved. It's a thought I cherish. I've been around long enough that God works in different ways for different people & that He'll do whatever it takes to bring someone to HIM. Each story is different, but the results are all the same! lives changed, hearts softened, and old hurts healed.
We've been given so much, through our families, our friends, & our personal journeys, & there are just a point when you've got to give it away to get some more, and try to touch others as you've been touched.
My life story may not the next installment of an Indiana Jones film, full of hair-raising escaped & last minute rescues, but sometimes the excitement and drama of life are wrapped up in the living of it--day by day..staying true to what you believe and trying to make the most of the gifts you've been given. I'll bet, when all's said and done, that there are a lot of people who have found deep meaning in their seemingly mundane existence & the realization that, in the routines of life, God works His will in miraculous ways.. and maybe like me.. you're one of them.
I know the cliche about girls wanting to find a guy just like their dads, so you can tell typical, but I really do value whatever "my man" has. Its just that I really do value the steady, the calm,& totally reliable dedication that he always showed toward our family.Praying that there's a few left like him when I get ready to settle down...anytime from now.
Don't feel like you always have to have a bf, sure being alone is hard..Sometimes its about the worst feeling. But I think that's where your faith comes in..I'm not saying just let God be your best friend & you'll never feel alone..because you will(form time to time).
But I think If you have His strength to lean on..and His truth to draw from..you can be content and happy with where you are!
No matter how broken my life, I believe God can create something new from the pieces, like a quilt made of scraps, left over of a better time but warming nonetheless..
..Sorrows, heartache,insecurity, & loneliness belong to us all. Financial hardships, broken promises, disintegrating friendships, shattered dreams-----they hound us daily.
-these are just a few hurdles we must overcome if we are to finish the race as victorious Christians..Because our faith is always under attack, I am convinced that the most difficult thing anybody..anywhere will ever attempt is to fulfill a Christian Life!
-though difficult, its the most meaningful, purposeful, & rewarding life anybody could live!
"It is not how Long you Study the Word...it is how Much you Apply the Word!"
It was during this time that the sense of depression & anxiety, that gnawing feeling of not really knowing who I was, seemed to fade. I relax its grip on my spirit and mind. I really was doing something that felt so right. I wanted so much to live up to everybody's expectations and I guess I always will. But like I said, part of growing up and discovering God's will is realizing that His perfection is all you need. Do your best, and He'll take care of the rest.
*Like everybody else in life, however, surprises come whether or not they're part of your neat little agenda.
*No matter what they say "its much harder to prove your innocence that it is for someone else to presume your guilt"
That seemed like an eternity, I felt as if I was falling away from everything I had once known, watching my life disappearing down a dark & dangerous hole. It was a feeling that would stay with me for a long time. It was a feeling I would become very familiar w/ a deep sense of isolation that settled on my heart & mind & set me apart from the rest of the world.
I've heard people talk about having a spiritual experience that knocked their socks off, changed their lives, & set them on the straight and narrow. Sometimes its a vision, sometimes a voice, sometimes just a sudden realization that they've come to a crossroads where there's a life-changing choice to be made--and NO turning back.
I get a real thinking whenever I hear those stories. There's a verse in the Bible that talks about the angels in heaven rejoicing everytime-one Soul is saved. It's a thought I cherish. I've been around long enough that God works in different ways for different people & that He'll do whatever it takes to bring someone to HIM. Each story is different, but the results are all the same! lives changed, hearts softened, and old hurts healed.
We've been given so much, through our families, our friends, & our personal journeys, & there are just a point when you've got to give it away to get some more, and try to touch others as you've been touched.
My life story may not the next installment of an Indiana Jones film, full of hair-raising escaped & last minute rescues, but sometimes the excitement and drama of life are wrapped up in the living of it--day by day..staying true to what you believe and trying to make the most of the gifts you've been given. I'll bet, when all's said and done, that there are a lot of people who have found deep meaning in their seemingly mundane existence & the realization that, in the routines of life, God works His will in miraculous ways.. and maybe like me.. you're one of them.
I know the cliche about girls wanting to find a guy just like their dads, so you can tell typical, but I really do value whatever "my man" has. Its just that I really do value the steady, the calm,& totally reliable dedication that he always showed toward our family.Praying that there's a few left like him when I get ready to settle down...anytime from now.
Don't feel like you always have to have a bf, sure being alone is hard..Sometimes its about the worst feeling. But I think that's where your faith comes in..I'm not saying just let God be your best friend & you'll never feel alone..because you will(form time to time).
But I think If you have His strength to lean on..and His truth to draw from..you can be content and happy with where you are!
No matter how broken my life, I believe God can create something new from the pieces, like a quilt made of scraps, left over of a better time but warming nonetheless..
..Sorrows, heartache,insecurity, & loneliness belong to us all. Financial hardships, broken promises, disintegrating friendships, shattered dreams-----they hound us daily.
-these are just a few hurdles we must overcome if we are to finish the race as victorious Christians..Because our faith is always under attack, I am convinced that the most difficult thing anybody..anywhere will ever attempt is to fulfill a Christian Life!
-though difficult, its the most meaningful, purposeful, & rewarding life anybody could live!
"It is not how Long you Study the Word...it is how Much you Apply the Word!"
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
So what is gained?
So whats the point of it all? Why God wants us to suffer pain, illness, loss?The answer to those questions will probably never be revealed to us in this life.But when we stock of our experiences, the good and the bad, we find that the dark times have left us with more than just unpleasant memories. Perhaps we have gained new insights into our own personalities, found strength & depth we never knew we had.
And what do we do with these emotional gains? We may go on the lead richer, more enlighten lives. We also seek to comfort those who hurt as we have hurt, thus heeding God's call to look after our fellow humans. Is this perhaps why God has permitted suffering in our lives? We can't answer that question..But our lack of sure knowledge should not stop us from trying to act as God's tools for good here on earth.
Matthew 5:4 -- "Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted".
And what do we do with these emotional gains? We may go on the lead richer, more enlighten lives. We also seek to comfort those who hurt as we have hurt, thus heeding God's call to look after our fellow humans. Is this perhaps why God has permitted suffering in our lives? We can't answer that question..But our lack of sure knowledge should not stop us from trying to act as God's tools for good here on earth.
Matthew 5:4 -- "Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted".
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